Gently Bitten

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Be Prepared

"Here you go, VATman. I hope this isn't too TAXing! Ha ha haaa!" cackled the villanous Limerick, as he pulled a giant lever.


An enormous hammer swung out of the ceiling, striking Vatman full in the chest, and knocking him back into a heavily-reinforced stockade, whose locks quickly snapped shut around his arms and legs. Dizzy, Vatman struggled futilely. "What have taxes got to do with it, you incomprehensible icon of injustice?" he shouted back, as his mighty vat-grown muscles strained against the welded steel.

"Americans!" Limerick muttered scornfully as he watched the muscular hero try to free himself.

"Weren't you born in Cape Cod...?" Limerick's evil sidekick, the shapely Punching Judy, began, but he cut her off.

"Silence! My moment of triumph is at hand!

Two heroes with heads full of glue,

Swore to do all the good they could do,

But their careers were undone,

By a villainous one,

Who had told them that day they would rue!

Ha ha ha haaa!" cackled Limerick triumphantly, as he posed for effect in front of another giant lever.

"Gee, boss, that didn't give away your plans at all. You're slipping," muttered Punching Judy under her breath.

Knocking out the last of Limerick's nameless hired thugs with a well-placed kick, Vatman's trusty companion Tracy, the Wonder Boy, bounded to the mighty hero's side, and began looking for a way to undo the trap that imprisoned Vatman's limbs. Punching Judy watched Tracy's ass turned towards her in his costume's very brief shorts, and licked her lips.

"Too late, Wonder Boy! Now you both face *this*!" called Limerick, and he threw the giant lever at last. An enormous black-and-white spinning spiral disk descended from the ceiling, whirling in front of the heroes.

"Too bad for you, villain! My mighty mind gives no purchase for your baleful blandishments!" responded the still-straining Vatman. A weld quietly popped on the back of the bars that held the hero, as he redoubled his efforts at escape.

"Meaning you're too dumb to hypnotise," muttered Punching Judy.

"Indeed! But your constant companion has no such protection!" crowed the Limerick.

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve too," exclaimed Tracy, turning for a moment to face the villain and his henchman on the catwalks above him. Turning back to his task, his gaze lingered for a moment on Punching Judy's shapely legs. She caught his eye, and winked at him. Reddening he returned to trying to free his leader. Quickly he managed to pick one of the locks on Vatman's restraints, and the entire frame shrieked as Vatman's enormous strength bore against the remaining ones.

"You think a correspondance course in hypnotic resistance techniques will save you? 'There was a young boy from Nantucket,'" Limerick began, then paused when nothing appeared to happen.

"Judy! Didn't you replace his correspondance course with your special training tapes? He doesn't seem to be responding to the trigger!" Limerick hissed. "'There was a young boy from Nantucket!'" he tried again. "'Who--' Aaargh!"

With a resounding shriek of tortured metal, Vatman snapped his restraints and leapt at Limerick, knocking him back into a wall of boxes. Limerick struggled to recover, as Vatman leapt again.

"Oh yeah. Tracy, lick my boots," said Judy to the Wonder Boy.

"Lick your... Boots. I must lick your boots..." said Tracy, his eyes going suddenly blank. He climbed the catwalk to where Punching Judy stood, and knelt at her feet.

"Judy!!!" Limerick raged, as he and Vatman fell through the back wall in a shower of wood, old bricks, and glass.

"Screw you, Limey. Dirty poems aren't enough anymore." Punching Judy snapped a collar and leash around Tracy's neck with one hand, and pushed the button for the secret escape hatch with the other. Quiet motors began whirring the section of floor that Judy stood and Tracy knelt on through the wall and out of sight. "A girl has needs."

The wall sealed itself behind them.